Finally
by messersmontana
Summary: Sam mourns Jacob and Jack lends comfort.


TITLE: Finally

AUTHOR: Lt Col Samantha Carter (Trisha)

This is a repost, posted on 7/19/2005

RATING: Teen

CATEGORIES: Sam/Jack

ARCHIVE: Yes, just let me know.

SUMMARY: Sam mourns Jacob and Jack lends comfort.

DISCLAIMER: We know whom they belong to and that I'm just borrowing them. I'll put them back safe and sound.

Sam stared out across the lake and let the tears fall. It was peaceful here and she finally felt that she could mourn her loss. Everyone was so worried about her for not breaking down yet and not asking for any personal leave after his death. He'd only been gone about a week, but this was the first time she'd shed a tear since he took his last breath. She hadn't even cried at his funeral, though it hurt to keep it all inside.

She thought back to what had brought her out here, leaving the warm comfortable bed she was lying in. She had been lying in bed and couldn't sleep. Here she was finally at Jack's cabin, along with Teal'c and Daniel, and she couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about her dad. They'd had his funeral only a day before. The guys kidnapped her and brought her here.

She just couldn't believe that her dad was gone. It seemed like she'd just got him back from almost losing him to cancer, and now what saved him, had actually killed him. She thought she would be the one to die before him since he'd received his symbiote.

Selmac had saved his life so many times in the past; it was ironic that he'd died because of her. But knowing that he felt that he needed to die with her showed how honorable and devoted he really was. That's what she loved about him.

Once the tears had started, she wouldn't be able to stop and she was slowly working on sobbing. She was trying to keep it quiet so she didn't wake the guys who were still in the cabin asleep. And, knowing Jack, they'd all be woken up early and prompted into going fishing even before the sun was on the rise.

Not even the thought of Daniel and Teal'c trying to get out of fishing could stop the flow of tears. Angrily swiping them away, she tried to think of the happier times with her dad; times where he'd make her laugh, but nothing was working.

Little did she know, an already awakened Jack was on the porch watching her, his heart breaking at the sound of her soft sobs. He didn't know if he should go to her or stay there in the shadows and just keep an eye on her. He got his answer when he saw her fall to her knees and her sobs grew louder, her body shaking with the violence of such emotion. He knew now that he had to help her, so he left his spot and ran to her.

One minute Sam was on the ground crying, and the next she was in Jack's arms being held by him. He turned her around to face him and whispered to her that everything would be okay. He got himself into a comfortable position on the ground and pulled her into his lap. "It's okay, Sam. I've got you."

Sobbing and hiccupping, she pulled back to look at him, tears falling down her face. "I'm s-s-sorry, sir. I just miss him so much and it hurts so bad. I thought I was okay, but now I know I'm not." She buried her face in his shirt.

"I know. I'm gonna miss him, too." He said as he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. "It hurts right now, but in time it will hurt…well, just as bad."

Sam laughed through her tears. "Thanks, sir. I really needed that right about now." She looked at him again. "You always know just what to say at the time I need it most. Thanks for all of this." She said as she hiccupped.

"I already told you, Carter. 'Anytime.' And I mean it. You know that you mean so much to me and I'd do anything to make you feel better. And I am gonna miss Dad, too. He was a great man, my friend, and I admired and respected him a lot." He said.

Surprised at his confession, Sam smiled and whispered. "He respected and loved you, too, sir."

"Drop the 'sir', Sam." Was his only reply, but she could see the reaction her words brought to his face. He smiled and his face lit up. She thought how handsome he was in that moment. She so wanted to kiss him.

"You know, Dad wouldn't admit it, but he thought more highly of you than he did my own brother. You also treated him a lot better and respected him more than Mark ever did." She looked down at his hand that sat on her leg and took it in hers, playing with his fingers, wonderful fingers, she thought.

He watched her and let her take the next step in whatever was going on. He liked the way she ran her fingers over his and then would twine her fingers through his. He held her hand at last when she moved to continue her inspection of them. She looked up at him surprised and her eyes wide.

"What's really bothering you, Sam?" He asked her as he held her gaze.

Afraid to say what was on her mind, she almost didn't tell him. At the last minute she thought maybe, just maybe, he could figure out what her father had meant.

"I'm still a little puzzled at something Dad had said just before he died. Something that I never thought I'd hear spoken from his lips." Looking back at their entwined hands, she got quiet.

Unable to stand the suspense any longer, he tilted her chin to look at him. Looking into her eyes once again, he smiled. "Well? What were these surprising words?"

"He told me that he wanted me to be happy, not to let the rules stand in my way. Then he said I could still have everything that I wanted." Looking like she was going to cry at the memory, she tried to turn away but he wouldn't let her.

Still holding her chin in his hand, he moved it up to cup her cheek. "I think Jacob and Kerry had the same idea."

"What do you mean by 'they had the same idea'?" She asked him.

"Kerry broke up with me because I have issues. You. Then she asked me if the Air Force was the only thing keeping us apart, and suggested that I retire and stay on as a civilian to run the SGC. It's happened before." He told her.

Still confused, Sam sighed. "But what has that got to do with Dad?"

"Well, it seems that Dad knew that we have something that connects us. He was telling you that you could have whatever you want, or whatever your heart wants. He was, in a way, giving you his blessing to be happy." He told her as he moved his hand to the back of her neck, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Closing her eyes to the sensations he was stirring in her, she was almost convinced that things could work out for them but not quite yet. "What my heart wants." She echoed.

He smiled at her, wanting to bring her more into his arms, but was afraid to scare her. "What does your heart want, Sam? What do you want?"

Opening her eyes and looking at him again, she replied. "Are you sure you want to know? I mean besides staying at the SGC. What I want the most?" At his nod she whispered, "You."

Jack's heart was beating fast. 'Did she say what he thought she'd said?' He thought and then answered. "Me? You want me?" At her nod, he smiled and pulled her into his arms. "You really want me, Sam? You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that coming from you."

Pulling back just a bit and looking at his beautiful smile, she replied. "I hope it's as long as I've wanted to hear it coming from you." Tears were running down her cheeks.

"Of course I want you, Sam. I have for so long. It's been so hard to keep from telling you how I feel or just grabbing you and making love to you. I've wanted to hold you when you've been sad or hurt, but I have to remain your CO and watch Daniel or Teal'c comfort you instead." He was now crying too.

Holding him in her arms and loving him finally felt so good. "I love you, Jack. I always have. I'm just sorry that it took me so long to be able to admit it to you out loud. I'm so sorry about the whole Pete thing, too."

Moving back and placing his fingers over her mouth, he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you too, Sam…and let's not talk about Pete anymore. It's all in the past and we now have the future to live for."

"Wow, I can't believe that just came out of your mouth. You're such a romantic, Jack O'Neill." She said as she moved closer and finally kissed him. It felt so good to kiss Jack and have him kissing her back. It's what her dreams had been full of for the past eight years.

Jack finally broke the kiss and got serious. "I want to tell you something, Sam. Hammond stopped me the other day after Jacob's funeral. It seems that he and President Hayes want me to go to Washington and take over Homeworld Security. It means moving there, but it also means that I'm no longer your CO." He stopped and waited for her response.

Sam wasn't sure if this bit of news was good or bad, but she had something to tell him too. "Well as a matter of fact, I've been offered a new job also. I was offered to overlook the Department of Research and Development at Area 51, so if I take that job I won't be in your chain of command, either."

Jack laughed and pulled her close again. "How about we both take the jobs and that way we can spend our downtime together and we won't have to worry about the regulations? I can come to Nevada every other weekend and you can come to Washington on the off ones."

She smiled at him and saw a glimmer of hope. "Can we make the calls tonight? I don't want to wait any longer. We can always tell Daniel and Teal'c tomorrow."

Jack pushed her to her feet and got up himself. He reached out for her hand and she placed hers in his, and they both walked back to the cabin where they made the phone calls. Once the calls were made and they hugged, kissed and just held each other.

Jack took Sam by the hand and led her towards the back of the cabin, picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, closing the door behind them. They didn't come out until later the next afternoon.

The End? Or The Beginning?


End file.
